Twins Stink!

Note: I originally wrote this during the 2010 Playoffs, right after the Twins lost their 12th consecutive playoff game.

As a Red Sox fan, I want nothing more than for the Yankees to lose. Preferably, they don't make the playoffs. Or if they do, I want them to lose as soon as possible. And therefore, there is nothing worse than knowing their matchup will be the Minnesota Twins. The awful, horrible, dreadful, Minnesota Twins. I remember hearing their fans write in during the season, and trying to tell everyone what a great, underrated and under-appreciated team they were. Well, Twins fans, how do you like them now?

We were all wondering why the Rays and Yankees didn't want to win the East. Now we know -- the loser GETS TO PLAY THE TWINS! HOORAY!

You could give the Twins a 5 run lead, and make it the bottom of the ninth and give the Yankees one inning, and they would still beat the Twins 9 out of 10 times. Are the Yankees in the Twins heads? Do the Yankees have the Twins number? Anyone who imagines the Twins could ever beat the Yankees in the playoffs is absolutely off their rocker.

During the final mauling last night, as I watched the final piece of the massacre unfold, at around the 5th inning, the only thing I was wondering was why the Twins didn't just slink off the field, out of the stadium, and crawl their miserable way back to the Minnesota tundra.

Maybe the next time the Twins face the Yankees in the playoffs, the Twins will have some sense and just concede, and save the paying public the indignity of watching them embarrass themselves on national television.

I imagine that all Red Sox fans feelings are similar to mine concerning the rancid, festering, stinking, heaping mound of dung that is the too-bad-they-were-never-contracted Minnesota Twins.